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05 September 2008 @ 05:13 pm
I am a compulsive list maker. I won't lie. I make lists about everything, all the time. I have books full of lists. Quotes, excerpts from short stories and novels, poems, lists of favorites, lists of names that I simply like, lists of possible titles for future stories, to-do lists, and lists of events or skills I'd like to acquire or achieve before my death... and a gazillion other lists that arguably don't even serve me.

Free association lists, even, and whatever else you could dream (I keep many of them in a little grey book that is covered in stickers of the Parthenon and olive trees and the Greek flag ;) - my learning log, as I call it (and I always have several going at once, and when one is filled, I start in on another one, and in this way, I'm always feeling as if I'm learning something, even though I am currently out of school)).

Now I want to start a list centered on the factors/ aspects that one might associate with self-improvement. Some of the things I have already jotted down are very obvious to me, as they represent actual weaknesses and/or character flaws, such as:

-speak more clearly (enunciate!) and slow down the rate of speech

-do not take criticism so personally

-do not continually speak when others are quiet simply to fill the 'void' of sound (I am used to associating stillness, quietness with anger, or...depression, and sometimes feel highly anxious when I am in the presence of another, and they are not talking to me. I feel as if they must be MAD at me. Which is a ridiculous thing to believe!)

-do not feel the pressing need to answer every question that is asked of me, especially if it is too personal a question. I am a fairly open person by nature, and I have views on many issues that aren't necessarily supported by the status quo, and as such, I am often questioned - my views nearly attacked off the hop.

Occasionally I've been in the presence of individuals who would sling a slew of questions at me...more to keep me off balance, than to actually learn something. And I need to recognize when people are doing that to me, and not feel the need to try to answer a ridiculous amount of questions in rapid succession, OR answer their questions at all, especially if the rationale for the question-asking is rooted in wanting to make me appear foolish, too intense, scatter-brained, or clumsy with words...

So those are a few of the points I'm now trying to address in my day to day life. They are issues that have been identified and broached at times by close friends and family, and people who want the best for me, and as such - I'm really going to try and work on these.

What other aspects of being do you believe many people need to improve within their own lives? If you don't know me too well, you may be hesitant to respond to this post...not even knowing if the point provided is a relative issue or a potential self-weakness. However, ANY suggestion is one that I'll seriously consider. Especially if it is linked to the subjects of self-doubt, anxiety, disillusionment, angst etc. etc. etc.
23 August 2008 @ 04:06 pm
What do you guys know on the subject of freelance work...i.e. 'in's' into the entire arena?

I'd love to write professionally, but I don't know really how to...get off the ground.
Well, camping is okay-ish. We have a quite expansive tent, so that's pretty cool. And electricity running into the tent, which affords me the ability to write when I want (well, outside of work hours). All the coffee I can gulp down (note to self: must pick up more soy milk), and a fire pit (note to self, part deux: get something camp-fire-y)

Doing pretty well. Allergies are a pain in the arse, but when are they not? I dislike the fact that I've seemingly developed a resistance to almost all of the allergy meds, too, save for the Reactine containing psuedoephedrine - which makes my heart race. That's sucky.

Moving on...

I MUST. DO. SOMETHING. with my life. Time is passing faster now...or at least, that's how it feels - and everything is remaining static, totally, infuriating still.
19 June 2008 @ 10:29 pm

What have you guys been up to?? I know I'm pathetic at staying in touch with anyone, but heck, does it help to know that it's NOT personal??

In Brandon atm. Forbidden Flavours has become my second home away from home.

Aside from that, I want to get back into the habit of writing. Even just for simple, personal enjoyment. Very interested in joining the Nanowrimo comp come November, but that's a story best told on another day when I have more time and can spend a little while explaining the craziness that is that particular comp.

Also, I've be going a little whacked watching House eppies on youtube - using the free WIFI that this local coffee bar offers (I think they hate me, and want me to leave. Probably am overstaying my welcome, actually).

Finally, WHAT do you guys eat outside of peanut butter protein bars when camping?? I picked up some cup-o-soups..but I feel the scurvy setting in... :p

Peace all. Hope to hear from some of you guys. Miss everyone. Hugs and light and all that good stuff.

So I've decided to awaken from my net hibernation and make an effort to post a little on LJ each day.

My work hours really are quite aggravating. I often begin work far before any libraries open, and finish work past the time when Millennium closes. I guess I could always trundle on over to the 24-hour Shoppers Drugs on River and Osborne and read through their selections, but I have a sneaking suspicion that they'll start to get annoyed if I come in and just plunk myself down and read two magazines per day... (Because, I really am not going to be *buying* two magazines a day!)

Off to work soon, so I need to wrap this up. My ulcer symptoms have abated in the last 1-2 days, and last night was the first night in a very long time where I actually managed to get some uninterrupted sleep. My herbalistic mixtures from...the Brazilian rain forest (that's not a joke!) have arrived. One is called sangre de grado, which in layman terminology is called "dragon's blood", and I swear - it does look like blood! Same colour, some consistency - viscous and rich, and doesn't blend easily when I swirl it around in my vanilla soy milk. At least it has a very plant-like taste - bitter and distinctively *medicinal*...

P.S. Another warning: Don't ever listen to a myspace musical clip on repeat. I now have the Pinky and the Brain 'BRAIN SONG' stuck in my head...

"neocortex, frontal lobe, brain stem, brain steam...
hippocampus, neural node, right hemisphere
pons and cortex, visual, brain stem, brain stem...
sylvian fissure, pinneal, left hemisphere...."

Yes. I know the whole thing. It goes on for a bit... This is quite sad, esp. since I don't know the words to most songs...which the exception of Weird Al Yankovich's "Yoda" song. @_@ Sometimes I can sing along to bits and pieces from certain Peter Gabriel selections, but as far as knowing the entire lyrics of any one song? How sad that I now add an animaniacs tune to the mix.
15 November 2006 @ 02:15 pm
the Jesus doll entry...some Jesus-related quotes. SOME of these things surprised me, namely Napoleon's quote.

"I know men and I tell you that Jesus Christ is no mere man. Between him and every other person in the world there is no possible term of comparison. Alexander, Caesar, Charlemagne, and I, founded empires. But on what did we rest the creations of our genius? Upon force. Jesus Christ founded His empire upon love; and at this hour millions of people would die for Him."

Napoleon Bonaparte

"From my youth onwards I have found in Jesus my great brother."

Martin Buber, Jewish philosopher (1878-1965)

"If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses."

Lenny Bruce

"A man who was completely innocent, offered himself as a sacrifice for the good of others, including his enemies, and became the ransom of the world. It was a perfect act."
15 November 2006 @ 01:43 pm
Toys for Tots rejects talking Jesus dolls
POSTED: 1704 GMT (0104 HKT), November 15, 2006

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- A talking Jesus doll has been turned down by the Marine Reserves' Toys for Tots program.

A Los Angeles company offered to donate 4,000 of the 1-foot-tall dolls, which quote Bible verses, for distribution to needy children this holiday season.

The battery-powered Jesus is one of several dolls manufactured by one2believe, a division of the Valencia-based Beverly Hills Teddy Bear Co., based on biblical figures. (Watch to see and hear the Bible-quoting dolls -- 1:52)

But the charity balked because of the dolls' religious nature.

Toys are donated to kids based on financial need and "we don't know anything about their background, their religious affiliations," said Bill Grein, vice president of Marine Toys for Tots Foundation, in Quantico, Virginia.

As a government entity, Marines "don't profess one religion over another," Grein said Tuesday. "We can't take a chance on sending a talking Jesus doll to a Jewish family or a Muslim family."

Michael La Roe, director of business development for both companies, said the charity's decision left him "surprised and disappointed."

"The idea was for them to be three-dimensional teaching tools for kids," La Roe said. "I believe as a churchgoing person, anyone can benefit from hearing the words of the Bible."

According to the company's Web site, the button-activated, bearded Jesus, dressed in hand-sewn cloth outfits and sandals, recites Scripture such as "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again" and "Love your neighbor as yourself." It has a $20 retail value.

Grein questioned whether children would welcome a gift designed for religious instruction.

"Kids want a gift for the holiday season that is fun," he said.

The program distributed 18 million stuffed animals, games, toy trucks and other gifts to children in 2005.

(Kat pipes up)...why oh why did they make Jesus look like that? With his eyes squished together? I've read that serial killers tend to have more narrower set eyes. :-p And shouldn't Jesus be darker skinned? And this one just scares me.

What would be cool? An Aramaic speaking Jesus, with DARK skin and DARK curly black hair, like would have likely been the case (if Jesus was an Ethiopian Jew, as many have surmised. Many scholars I should add, since most are still caught up in the fair hair, blue eyes daydream.)

Moving on...I personally don't think that there is a problem giving a Jesus doll to a Muslim kid. Or even a talking Jesus doll. THE problem here is undoubtedly the scripture they chose for their Jesus doll to say - "no one can see the kingdom of God, EXCEPT...." - because that right away sticks a dagger into any other religion save for (most sects of) Christianity.

However, some Christian ideals are ideals for mankind, and don't attack religion...like "love thy neighbor like thyself."

It's not like my mum would have freaked out if someone wanted to give me a Buddha doll, or a Gandhi figurine (if they existed), or a Confucius-spouting character. Big deal. It would be educational; it didn't have to lapse into attack-other-religion-mode.

And so they should have stuck to Jesus-as-historical-figure if nothing else, keeping the quotes "safe". There are many non-offending Christian sayings...

All acceptable ones:

"Love one another" - John 15:12
"Woe unto you, lawyers!" LUKE 11:52 *especially practical nowadays
"Let him who seeks continue seeking until he finds" - Luke 17:21

Plus, it's not even all non-Christians that would have taken issue with this talking Jesus doll. I think the Quakers, for one, would be mad with the doll talking about hell too...even alluding to a 'hell'. Ahh, the Quakers and their chocolaty confections and their firm conviction that hell is a mythic trap to scare people into submission. Gotta love the Quakers. The non-scary version to fundamentalism. *They should have made the Jesus doll*. It would likely have had a compartment for which to deposit Cadbury chocolate squares and Terry's chocolate orange pieces! "He who comes to me freely with an open heart shall receive a never ending chocolate spring". Isn't that a line in the Bible??

And to make the toy more fun, the Jesus doll should have been able to shoot hoops through a mini basketball hoop, and be like Alpha the robot - helping kids with math! That would have been a true savior, don't you think??

"Basketball Jesus"
"Student Study Helper Jesus"
"Movie Critic Jesus" that says things like : "Martin Scorsese is the best!" and "Mel Gibson harps on violence, let's turn the channel!"
Current Location: not really anywhere *yawns*
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: Can You Hear Me Running? by Mike and the Mechanics
26 October 2006 @ 02:25 pm
I am not dead. :-p


When have I updated last? Not for a thousand days, it seems....

I have so many people to respond to; people to thank; people to send off snail mail parcels to; people I must contact so that I can get my horrible punctuation/grammar under control.

Camiel...letters coming. :-p

Ale and Francis, if you guys are reading this, snail mail and burnt Cd's coming

Hil - long standing apologies too! I received your postcard. Thanks :-) Can you re-send me your current address, and include: Kat - write me back! in the subject heading? @_@


Off to clean up my room. I have a couple of posters I want to affix properly...one of the Delphic ruins/sites.

Hmm...also Liz...if YOU read this...can you also pm me your address info again? Since I am completely beyond the mere status of "absent minded" and practically out of it right now. Yup, yup. Thanks, muchos gracias.

Must go and water the plants now. Poor things keep on trucking, somehow. I don't deserve them :-(

And chores...did I mention my books are piling up in all directions? No wonder I have overdue fines in...huge excess to what I originally thought.
Current Location: in my messy head, ya
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: Mono - Life in Mono
23 September 2006 @ 06:59 pm
Frenetic energy = bad, bad.

I think I'm going to start running again. I always feel better when I have a running regimen. So I'm off to get some motivational films now. Something a la "Chariots of Fire" :-P

Beckee - thanks again for the new ipod! *jumps up and down* Is it a coincidence that I stopped running, when my ipod mini stopped working?? I think not! I must have zero will power...because I get so incredibly bored running without music. Bah humbug.

But the music will be back in my life soon!
Current Location: computer lab at school...
Current Mood: complacentcomplacent
05 September 2006 @ 04:16 pm
Propel fitness water, which rocks.

Thank you, lovely lemon-y electrolyte replenishing goodness, for keeping me hydrated in my time of need.

Yup, flu is abating. At least the nausea is *greatly* diminished. I still feel like a steam roller mowed me over, but hey, if 15 hours of sleep in the last four days didn't fix that, I'm sure I can crank it up to 20 hours or so a day :-p

Gah. Why am I still sooo tired? *rubs burning eyes* (don't answer my stupid, obvious-answer 'question').

Oh, my boss was super!nice and gave me a few more days off...so I can go on a (shortened) camping excursion now, too. *jumps up and down* *stops* *feels dizzy* *goes to catnap until time to re-load the car*

ciao tomodachi!
Current Mood: draineddrained
Current Music: Philip Glass